Friday, March 20, 2020

Chaos

We've officially all completely lost our minds. Today started off like any other day.........with my womb wreckers fighting with each other. I opened my eyes and immediately had to summon my referee persona to break up whatever the hell they decided to argue about before it got physical. It was obviously escalating faster than I had time to sell tickets to the tiny tots tussle so the combat couldn't commence. During the chaos, I put a k-cup in and pushed the button because I realized it was going to be a long fucken day. In my sleep deprived state, I forgot a key element, THE CUP!! Coffee started spewing out of my Keurig. This is where we all forgot how to function. I reached for the power cord as my 7yo grabbed the coffee mug. My 10yo decided to immediately jump into action by trying to capture the steaming hot nectar with.....wait for it.......HIS HANDS!! He screamed. I screamed. He kept ahold of that black gold and I had to grab him and shove him to the sink to rinse it off. My 7yo panicked and threw the coffee mug so she could run and grab a towel. My moddler ran after the mug all giddy like she was playing a game of fucken fetch and brought it back, screaming for someone to throw it again. Anyways, how has your day been?

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