Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Naked pooping

So, apparently my son shits completely naked. Is that normal or is my ovary candy defective? I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth when the door gets kicked in. I see my son standing there doing some type of ass backwards dance like Cotton Eyed Joe is playing in his extremely awkward pre-teen mind. His eyes were about to bulge out of his head when he yelled, "I have to poop, NOW!!" Considering I have a mouth full of toothpaste at this point, the only think I could do was gesture towards the toilet in an attempt to tell him to go ahead. I was trying to hurry to get out of there before his shit whispers completely engulfed the room when I saw his reflection in the mirror. This child was wrestling with himself trying to get completely naked while his anal acoustics were echoing off the walls. I was laughing so hard that I started choking on my toothpaste. I finally got my mouth rinsed out as he was sitting down on the toilet, completely exasperated. I asked him why the hell he needed to get completely naked. He looked me in the face with the most serious look and between breaths he said, "I need to be able to breathe." 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

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