Soda mishap

I just had my first sippy cup mishap. Did y'all know that if you put soda in a sippy, it'll squirt everywhere?!?! I sure as fuck didn't. I also didnt intentionally try to give my toddler a cup of sugar syrup at 2 in the damn morning either. She woke me up by hitting me in the face with her cup asking for milk. I'm sleeping. I am not going to get up to get milk. So, I frantically searched my nightstand, praying for a bottle of water that I normally bring to bed with me. I grabbed what I thought was water and dumped it in her cup, all with my eyes barely open. I gave her the cup and laid back down. Then it happened. IT BLEW EVERYWHERE!! This cup turned into a pissed off hand-held volcano wielded by my uterus candy. Neither of us knew what in the actual fuck was happening. It stopped furiously squirting it's sticky goo all over my bed so she held it out for me to take only for it to start again, spraying all up in my face. Now she's wide awake because that was apparently the coolest shit she's ever seen in her life and I ended up getting out of bed anyways thanks to my coca-cola facial I was just blessed with. I need a vacation.