Rude awakening

There is nothing more terrifying than waking up to see the infant version of your significant other so close to your face that if you blink, your eyelash will graze their eyeball and when they exhale, you can actually taste the nasty morning milk breath all up on your tastebuds. I don't think anything could ever prepare a parent for that. Not only is it emotionally and mentally straining, but physically as well. The shock itself will have you trying to pull a Chris Brown on what your mind is telling you is an armed assailant, but you have to fight every cell in your body to refrain because this intruder came from your vagina and the only thing it's weilding is a damn sippy cup. All that's left to do is just scream, "what the fuck?!" I give it a 0/10 and would definitely not reccomend starting your day like this.