Baby Fever

Some days I think I want another baby. I see all my kids being so independent and I miss having an infant. Plus, one of these times I'm going to get it right and finally birth the one that would be willing to wipe my ass when I physically can't do it anymore. I've asked them all and they've all been very adamant that they are unwilling to do this for me. Even my moddler overheard a conversation I was having with my husband and exclaimed, "goss. I no ipe ass!!" She is so good with her little cousins that it makes my ovaries hurt sometimes. It makes me feel like a crackhead, craving that fresh out the love tunnel baby smell. Then there are days like today where I literally watched her rip the voice box out of her baby doll's back and then put the whole doll underneath the couch cushion only to climb up to sit on top of it. I asked why she did this and she said, "ugggghhhhh.....baby no shut up." She waited a minute and then got up, pulled it out and said, "you a done now?" After she didn't get a response from her recently mute toy, she threw this poor doll from the living room into the kitchen as she screamed, "BE BETTA!!" 😳😳These are the moments that make my faloppian tubes basically tie themselves. My womb retracts so far that I can physically feel it in my throat. I don't know why she is the way she is. The only thing I know is that my lady bits have been feeling quite bipolar as of late dealing with these alternating flood and drought situations. 🌊🔥🤷🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️