Commitment

I just watched my moddler pull out our dining room table like she's been lifting fucken weights since she's been in utero. It's wooden and extremely hefty. I struggle moving the damn thing myself and I'm grown. I then witnessed her pull a chair out from behind it because I store them there to avoid concussions and black eyes since she's fearless and climbs everything. She hulked out to pick it up and literally carried it over to the counter to set it down. She dropped it on her foot as she got there so she said, "owwwwww a hurt me." She then replied to herself with, "I so sorry" as she got down on the floor and kissed her own foot. She proceeded to thank herself and then get an attitude WITH HERSELF because she didn't say you're welcome in response. I just heard a full blown conversation between what I assume is her multiple crazy personalities. She got back up and climbed up on the chair to climb onto the counter. At this point, I get up and go stand behind her. I was going to make her get down, but she's shown such dedication that I'm curious as to what is worth so much trouble for her to go through all of this. She must know something I don't know. I creep while standing as close as possible in order to catch her if she decides to try sky diving. I stay quiet so I don't spook her into aborting her quest.. What the fuck is she looking for? Why is she so determined? Candy, folks. She was getting some old, nasty ass candy. I put their Halloween buckets in our junk cupboard. You read that right. HALLOWEEN!! They're still full of candy because I'm that mom, the one that let's them eat candy the day of the holiday and then puts the rest up for "later" only to completely forget that I put them up. The only time she could have spotted them was the other night while her brother was rifling through the cupboards looking for batteries for his controller. This child forgets where the fuck her cup went 5 minutes after I give it to her, but somehow remembered seeing buckets that she hasn't seen since October and remembered that they still had candy in them. She then devised a diabolical plan to get said candy. I don't know what I'm going to do with this one, but for now, wine seems like a great coping mechanism. 🤦🏼‍♀️🍷