I'm too sick for this shit.

I'm stuck in bed, sick as fuck and my moddler was sitting here with me watching Frozen 2. She yelled she had to go potty. I told her to go ahead and come right back when she was done. She left and was gone for a bit before coming back in all excited, carrying the insert to her potty FULL of poop and pee. I watched her running and as I opened my mouth to tell her to be careful, she tripped and the septic grenade went airborne. Guess where it landed? MY FUCKEN BED!! All over me, the blankets, the sheet, and the pillows. I honestly have no fucken idea how that much came out of her. It came falling down like hail as my heart skipped a beat and time seemingly stopped just for a second to let me process what was happening. All I heard her say was, "ohhhhhhh, shit!!" Then, as I'm laying there in disbelief, contemplating my life choices and wondering what I've done to the universe to end up where I am at right now, this little shit climbed up into my bed and bent over. I was covered in her waste with a face full of asshole and she says, "you ipe mine ass o no?" I. Am. Done. With. Today. 😩