Poor Susan

Gather round folks and take your seats. It’s story time. In order for you to get a better understanding of the situation, you must know that my child has been sick and I’m a hot mess in general. I realized we were almost out of milk, so I grabbed a “dress” and threw it on as I was walking out my door since I was just going to run to Sheetz. Half way there, I realized that it was extremely short, probably because it is in fact a SHIRT, so I pulled it down which essentially transformed this black shirt it into a form fitting little black dress. My options were to show my ass or accentuate my mama belly so I chose the belly. Also, I’m wearing my daughters choker because I had taken it from the baby and put it on and keep forgetting I’m wearing it. Recap: bleach blonde woman with choker, TIGHT, short black dress with boots at like 1am. I was already self conscious so I waited for most of the customers to clear out before walking my happy ass in there to get milk. I got in line to check out as there was one person ahead of me, also a woman dressed very conservatively. She paid the cashier and turned around to look me from head to toe before giving me a dirty look and then turned back around to grab her bag as she was heading over to await her food order.
Cashier:(whispering) I am so sorry. I can’t believe she did that.
Me:(practically yelling) I don’t understand why everyone has to be so judge mental. Not everyone can have a 9-5 bank job. Someone has to let your husband do anal, Susan.
(This stems from being mean tired FYI)
Dead silence and looks of horror followed.
Cashier: I didn’t realize you knew her.
Me: I don’t.
Cashier: But, her name is Susan.........
Me:...........*grabs my shit and leaves*

You see, kids? This is why you shouldn’t be a twat and judge people because they could probably be well, me.
To Susan’s husband: I’m sorry that you’ll probably have a lot of questions to answer, but in all fairness, you married a cunt so 🤷‍♀️