Nerf Gun

My husband bought himself a nerf gun with his Christmas money so he could retaliate when the kids attacked him. It was a shotgun style nerf gun and isn't as powerful as the kids fully automatic beasts, but it gets the job done. Today while I was unloading the dishwasher, my moddler brought me this gun and a nerf dart to "fix it" which is her way of asking me to load it. So, I load it and immediately stiffen up, because if you have a child that plays with nerf guns, you know exactly what is about to happen next. Based on her height, I KNOW I'm about to get a nerf dart straight to the asshole. She's giggling and let's the suspense build as I'm standing there, stiff as a fucken board, asking myself, "why the fuck do you continue to load it EVERY GOD DAMN TIME when you know she's just going to shoot you with it?!" Finally, I heard the click of the trigger, but nothing happened. I was so damn confused so I turned to look at her and just as I realized she was LOOKING STRAIGHT DOWN THE BARREL, the fucken thing went off and she shot herself square in the face. I dont know why the gun fucked up, maybe it was just devine intervention giving this little shit a taste of her own medicine, but I could not stop laughing. "Well, that taught her" I said to myself. Not even 5 minutes later, she brought me the same fucken dart that physically assaulted her face and asked me to fucken "fix it." You think it would be okay to use her college tuition for wine? I'm starting to think I'll need the funds more than her. 😂🤦🏼‍♀️🍷